Friday, March 27, 2020

How I Really Feel About Having My Child Unschooled

I am overwhelmed.

That's the only word that I can think of that accurately describes my current state of mind. I know I am not alone in my feelings. Thousands of Moms, Dads, Grand-Parents, etc are in this same jumbled state of mind caused by COVID.

We went into spring break with an idea that it would be longer than planned and that was exciting at the time. However, we NEVER expected that I would become teacher, lunch lady, Spanish teacher, art teacher, music teacher, p.e. teacher, librarian, and counselor for the unforeseeable future. I now can say that I have a new found love and respect for all teachers.

The past week I was excited. Excited to throw together a make shift school in her room, plan fun science experiments, and thrilling outside activities.

Somewhere in the last two days my feelings have shifted. I am still excited and feel blessed that I can spend this time with my daughter. However, I am scared and fearful.

My daughter THRIVES on the structure and excitement of school and I thrive on having her in school during those hours to work my business from home and bring in another income to my household.

How am I going to find a new balance, how am I going to make sure she does not fall behind, how am I going to make sure she is not feeling alone in this shift? Then on the other side how am I going to still do all of the things that I need too? Like, shower.

As the possibility of her not being able to return to school this year becomes closer and closer and I keep asking myself these questions, I feel my anxiety rise to a new level.

Little did my child know that her last day of school was probably her last day of school this year. The last time she would be with her teacher that she has grown so fond of and cries at the mention of her name, the last time that she would be with this group of kiddos and her last day of the first year of school.

We are all doing the best we can given the circumstances. We are all worried that we can not give our kids the structure they need or teach them the fundamentals that they would be learning.

All I can keep thinking is that we are ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.

It's like we just all got thrown into this bad ass club of  PARENTS IN SURVIVAL MODE.

All of our kids are experiencing the same uprising of emotions and they will be okay! Kids are resilient they don't feel the pressures of the world like we do. Our first job is making sure we do not put that stress onto them. Let them continue to be unaware kids.

The only thing that we can do as parents is try to support and love them the best that we are capable of.  Don't feel like you are doing this alone, reach out to other parents for support and ideas! Make sure that you are taking care of your mental health, whatever that looks like for you.

I am just here taking it one day at a time, finding the small blessings and trying to stay sane!



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